Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
