her vagine was all disorganized.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
