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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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