This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
