Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
