why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize