just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
