Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Barsexuality is the new black.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
All I want is dick and wine.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
