I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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