the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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