clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Nobody cheats on THIS.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
