Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
