A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
OPIZZABONMYDICK
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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