Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize