i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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