Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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