I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
