They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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