Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
