I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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