We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
