He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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