dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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