Apparently you make a good broom.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
