Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
