Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
