I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
