life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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