How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
As shirtless as possible
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
