Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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