It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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