Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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