JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Couch. On fire.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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