he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
