i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Randomize
