He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize