once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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