I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
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