we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Randomize
