is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize