What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
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