Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
