if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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