best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize