Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
