so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Everclear isn't food dammit
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
