Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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