i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize