So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize
