In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
She has the best kind of daddy issues
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
