im drinking this country out of the recession.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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