"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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