guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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