My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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