...so i touched it.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize