I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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