I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you didnt know i had herpes?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
