Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
