i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You're earring is so big in my mouth
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
