wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
