come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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