I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
She said her name was "party"
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize