i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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