Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You took a bar mat shot.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
